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“How to Maintain Plants: For Those with A Brown Thumb”

DON”T BUY THEM!

Every year at Spring time the grocery stores put out their prettiest plants, and every year I tell myself, this is the year, this is the year I’m going to learn to take care of plants. And every year I fail. So my biggest suggestion to you from one brown-thumbed to another, just don’t do it!

MAYBE TRY FAKE PLANTS?

The easiest way to satiate my dire need to have indoor plants was to just opt to get the fake ones. I have two fake plants in my house and they look great! They’ve been integrated into my home for five years now, no maintenance, no feeding, no transplanting, no assembly required! These fake plants have been the best plant-based decision I have ever made. Never the less I still decide I need to incorporate something that’s alive and adds to the air purity in my home.

FINE BUY SOME, BUT TRY NOT TO KILL THEM!

And every year there I am again in the floral section of the grocery store looking at the little description cards of all the small affordable indoor plants. This year I thought, what if I do it right, make sure I get plants that can withstand the direct sunlight-shortage in my apartment, I’ll do transplanting early, and provide nutrients on the correct timetable. I’m pretty sure my plants didn’t even last one week, and I really tried, my husband laughed at me for bringing the plants outside for a daily dose of sunshine. Apparently plants are not like children, and cannot be brought outside for direct sun an hour or two at a time through out the day (who knew)?!

SETTLE ON A CACTUS OR A SUCCULENT!

Once you’ve reminded yourself that you have a brown thumb and you don’t know how to properly care for most plants, settle on a cactus or a succulent. Now these aren’t exactly the prettiest plant in my opinion, but they are so low maintenance, that you would have try really hard for them to die. I’ve had my current plants for about a month, and I honestly think this is the longest I’ve ever kept a plant alive! So give it a try, buy a succulent, make sure you follow their care instructions, and enjoy your indoor low maintenance plant (until you and I most inevitably kill them then we end up at square one again).

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