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Family, Health

“Worry-Free Happy Mommy!”

“Don’t brush my hair! No! I hate it! It hurts!” A typical morning with my four-year-old, “Well if you would stop running around it wouldn’t hurt so much. And, maybe if we brushed it more often it wouldn’t be so tangled,” my typical mama response. This routine is always ensued by me chasing my little girl around the house screaming, “no daughter of mine is going to walk around looking like Raggedy Ann,” cut-to my princess in a full blown primaddona meltdown, because why, “you said I look raggedy, that’s not nice.” If you have hair, you HAVE TO BRUSH IT, pretty reasonable, right? The only problem with expecting a four-year-old to be reasonable,  is four-year-olds aren’t reasonable! The entire process of hair-brushing for a kid is, BOOOORRRING! Yes, that’s right boring, what child wants to be stuck unable to move for more than 30 seconds? And as if that’s not horrible enough, we want to brush their hair too! Now, why in the world would she want to sit still for that, when she could be playing ‘My Little Pony waltzes into the Shopkins bar  to order Flappy Jacky Num Noms?’

They say pick your battles, and honestly I’d much rather win the battle of, “no you cannot pull your dress up to prove you’re not wearing panties,” in the middle of the mall, than win the battle of hair-brushing. It used to redefine my very essence as a mother winning the hair-brushing battle, because my little girl’s hair will contrive into that of something from Where the Wild Things Are. It’s when we have arrived there, of course that the next thought that always crosses mind is ‘everyone is going to think that I neglect my children.’  Like most moms I all too often concern myself with what the rest of the mommy community thinks. It saddens me to think the opinions of other mothers could impact ongoings of my personal interactions with my own children. So you know what, I’ve decided it’s okay to give up and wave the little white flag, (on the smaller battles of course). What’s not okay is holding ourselves to these ridiculously high peer-imposed standards, and over a brush and hair, no thank you.

There are too many parenting perfectionists that largely experience child-rearing as a black-or-white endeavor, when it’s just simply not. I have decided I am not going to be one of these parents, I am not going to let these small battles of relentless hair-brushing undermine my self-confidence as a mother. I’m simply going to learn to navigate the grey-areas of parenting, from this day forward I am saying no to being a mother that perceives myself as either being really good or really bad at it. I think I’m a good mom, a great mom, and I strive to be absolutely Momvelous.

So from today going forward my neighbors will no longer hear the screams of our hair-brushing trials, today our morning routine was a little more smooth.”Okay, let’s find a hair tie…” band wrapped, hair up,”there you go sweetie you have the perfect bun, you look just like a ballerina!” We exchange smiles, and I’m so thankful that for once, I don’t finish her hair feeling depleted and unable to continue our morning routine.

And almost as soon as we move on from her hair…

“I don’t want to wear a jacket, I don’t feel  hot, I don’t care the rain makes me wet, I want to wear my swim suit.” And on to the next battle we go…

 

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